Week 72: a mission is like life: it has ups and it has downs

Monday, November 13th, 2017:

Elder Heyward and I couldn't agree on if it was right for us to ask someone to do our laundry for us or not.  We both were ready to compromise, but Elder Heyward spoke first so we did our own laundry this week.  We got to all our other things--also going to goodwill for Nerf guns and basketball but getting paintings and giving a blessing instead--and the timing of it more or less comfortably worked out.

We planned at 6:35 and, by doing so, kept well to the morning schedule.  I'm happy; Elder Heyward may not hold tight to all the rules but when something needs to be done, he doesn't let his personal agenda get in the way.  He was sufficiently able to prepare this morning (we finished planning at 6:55).  It's admirable.

After barely finishing emailing, we had a lesson with Martin.  He knows a lot about the gospel (Thanks to his mom) as does his little sister Lucy.  We covered the whole Plan of Salvation in a long lesson before heading back to clean and eat.

Olivia dropped us.  She dropped us dead.  She texted saying she didn't want to be baptized, nor did she want us to visit or ask any questions.  I'm a little bothered, but mainly I'm not sure if it was really her choice.  I also never knew how the lesson went from her perspective with Elder Parnes.

We've dropped a lot of people.  We met with Tristyn; I feel like she will either be baptized or dropped.  While future issues may complicate things, it will end in either one of those two endings soon.

I'm pretty tired now.  I can't wait to sleep.  That's how I feel most nights.  Yay!  Sleep!

I didn't take my pill this morning, accidentally.  On the mornings I haven't taken it, I have thought to check--I seemed unfocused.  Today, I saw a well cut difference, although I wouldn't call that data to proof.

Tuesday, November 14th, 2017:

We played basketball this morning.  We encountered people playing basketball in the Canyon Rim stake center and asked if we could play along with them in the mornings.  I'm tried--it went for an hour--but I'll be okay.

In the afternoon, we called and texted people.  I cleaned up notes of people we've been asked to go by and Elder Heyward did more coordinating.

We were also asked to help in a service project, moving giant concrete slabs.  One was very briefly dropped on my hand, but I was expecting it so I moved quickly.  The only effects I suffer from it are being unable to close my fist all the way and a little soreness, so I'll be fine.

We had a solid evening.  There were a few people we contacted and two meetings, but the highlight was the lesson with Simeon, Madeline, and Hannah.  Simeon started off as he always does by saying he hoped that these discussions would help everyone come closer to Jesus.  I took that into the introduction to the Book of Mormon: "...and a man would get closer to God...."  I didn't really know what I was doing but it turned into the lesson we were hoping for--the Book of Mormon and our purpose.  I just hope they take it well.  We were unflinching.

We got repeating events in our area book again!  Now our normal day can retain more structure, which will help in planning.

Wednesday, November 15th, 2017:

Our schedule has settled down to some predictable attributes:

• Elder Heyward makes breakfast for the both of us (making a second omelet is easy enough if you're already making one)
• We call, report, schedule, etc. for some of the afternoon.
• A priest takes us out in the evening
• We have a meeting at 8:30, which we get to somewhere between 8:30 and 8:45.

We had about six lessons to report on, so I did that during the care center's relief society meeting.  They ask us to be there every Wednesday that we can, but we don't need to participate in most of it so we conduct what work we can.

Tristyn was going to cancel the lesson--well, Staci was-- but we were able to visit and share something still.

We gave a blessing to Robert, the father of Timmy.  We've been trying to get a hold of them for the longest time.  He has quite a story; definitely not the hardest I've heard on my mission but still pretty hard.

During dinner--someone took us to Cafe Rio--someone sat at our table.  We both thought it was the priest who was going with us for the night.  Actually, it was a psychology student given an assignment to violate social norms.  He sat at a strangers' table without asking.  We went over to both of them later, found they were less-active members, and got their contact information.

Our area is doing very well.  Also, I had an advancement when I was really able to push through discouragement to go and do more things.  I knew before that doing hard things would mean doing things when you didn't feel like doing them, but I managed to implement that and thus fully realize what it meant.

Thursday, November 16th, 2017:

We went on exchanges today.  I was with Elder Shafer, Elder Clayton's companion before me.  He's a gamer, but talking about video games isn't a hot topic for me.  What I found more rewarding was talking about the behaviors and attitudes surrounding us gamers--figuring out good ways to balance video games with life.  In a way, it was "Safeguards for using Technology" for after the mission.

We didn't talk about it much, as our day was busy.  We lined up a lot of people for the evening and got to all of them, thanks to the assistance of a priest driving us around.  It was great.

We walked a lot in the afternoon.  My hip has started hurting, but it only hurts after a lot of running or biking and subsides quickly.

We visited who we thought was a LA member.  He had the Family: a Proclamation to the World and The Living Christ on his wall.  There was a weird blend of how he seemed really active but also didn't have regular scripture study with his kids; there was a part that felt missing.  Or maybe it was just me.  Something was odd, though.

Also, his dog pooped on the carpet moments before we left, which none of us saw.  Elder Shafer walked right in to it.  Whoops.

Friday, November 17th, 2017:

We ended our exchanges.  While I hadn't accomplished my goal of internalizing the purpose of missionary work (bringing it in to all that I do to be more sincere, motivated, and aligned in my efforts), I did get an idea that would help our area.  We have a problem with getting names of people who we can't visit right away because another person knows valuable information about them.  It makes planning hard because we have large lists of people but only a few ready to contact.  The idea is to simply make sure we have enough names ready to visit so we don't get locked up in planning.

District meeting was a training on finding, but I was asked to prepare a training on recognizing the promptings of the Spirit.  I combined it with humility.  Finding itself is a task to take initiative; I believe the best missionaries are completely open to the Spirit and set their minds at work to generate ideas for whatever opportunities may be around.  It's all about acting for oneself.

The mother in the family having us over for dinner was moved from the weekend to today.  While she didn't forget, she was pretty stressed about it.  We decided to extend the dinner time (or rather move it later and do calls on their back porch in the meantime) to relieve potential tensions.

The evening was pretty difficult because some of the plans we had down were for people we had to visit before it became too late.  Because we couldn't visit those people, we had to change around our plans on the fly.  We're not inexperienced with that, but it threw us off.

Saturday, November 18th, 2017:

This was a pretty hard day.  We called people in the afternoon and visited more in the evening, but when we got home I wrote nothing in my journal because I was so tired.  Now, I can't remember what I did that day.

Sunday, November 19th, 2017:

We had a slower start this morning.  We didn't make it to the mission prep class or any of the other early morning meetings.

In sacrament meeting, I tried to reflect on the purpose of missionary work.  I hope to grasp why I'm doing missionary work--seeing that it will help people receive the gospel and the joy of remission of sins--and draw powerful energy into my desire.

After church meetings, we got to the apartment.  Elder Heyward and I talked.  I sensed it wasn't easy for him to be my companion.  As he talked, he told me of some of the things that he noticed.  Unlike his other companions, I didn't seem to be happy.  Ever.  I was either very clearly not doing well or only neutral.  I've talked with other companions in the past about that.  I still don't know how to be myself and also be a missionary.

I haven't felt fully aware in the past months, exemplified by what he pointed out: I failed to recognize and drop what could have been an argument with a priest at one point.  I corrected people often on things that weren't important.  Other things.  It was painfully humbling to have more weaknesses brought to my awareness.

I wondered if perhaps I should go home early.  I felt like it wouldn't be good for me to stay on a mission if I hurt my companions by wearing them down.  I knew I would be able to help others and I am doing good work, but I don't want to hamper anyone.  I know I am stressing Elder Heyward.

We were supposed to have a lesson with Tristyn tonight, but after pushing it back twice Staci spaced it.  However, she went to Mark's house.  The zone leaders were there (it is their area), so they taught Tristyn and put her on date.  I'm not sure if I'm happy; I hope they acted wisely.

Tristyn is such an interesting investigator because she and her mom require the most sincere motives and the highest teaching skills, due to their personalities.  She's caused me to grow a lot, or at least to see how I could grow.

We dropped John, as we haven't been able to find him home for three weekends.

We have two lessons scheduled for tomorrow during our preparation time; one with Tristyn and one with Martin.  I agreed to let Elder Heyward call someone to do our laundry.  We'll barely have time.

Thoughts from Monday, 11/20, as I’m emailing: It's pretty true that a mission is like life: it has ups and it has downs. A mission has great ups and greater downs, it seems. But I’ve rejected the idea that I might go home early, as I can see more of the good I'm doing.