Our p-day was pushed to today (February 22) so we could attend the
temple. I have a feeling most of my journal entries are only going to be bits
and tatters of what they should be, so I’ll try to get the events down for them
but reflect more here.
It’s been a fluid few weeks. We are in the 5th of six weeks of
this transfer. The first three seemed to go by really strongly as we were
always busy contacting or calling or meeting or teaching or planning. I was
working non-stop. It wasn’t so much exhausting for me in any particular aspect
as it was a steady push distributed on every point: I was in a comfortable
balance in every area (physical, mental, spiritual) but still giving my full
effort. It’s like pushing with two hands or even with a shoulder versus trying
to push with one finger.
The forth week showed we needed to address some things: WMLs
and finding. We were knocking on the same few doors and texting the same
people. By getting WMLs to meet regularly, we could have a steady flow of
checking in –> knowing what we need to do, repeated. So it was somewhat
herder, but mostly it just was less productive. It was evident to us.
We’ve got those meetings set up and I can already see the
beginnings of it. One WML asked us to visit a few less active members, others
have specific things to take to their ward council meetings on Sunday; it’s
looking good. We set up the meetings with them so every meeting is in the week
leading up to their ward councils.
Here are some notes from week 85 (February 12th-18th)
I had to sort out my prescription on Monday, as I was out;
thankfully, everything came together. I thought it was squared away a few weeks
ago, but my insurance company doesn’t cover the mission doctor’s prescriptions
when I fill them in Utah.
We had a pretty fun activity based on whatever projectiles
people had. I had a whole list of things we hadn’t done and we emailed from
4:45-6:00 at the apartment, but hey: I polished my shoes.
In the evening, we texted and called people until about
7:00. The second house we then visited, given to us by a WML, had a different
family that we were expecting. The oldest son talked a lot with us. At one
point, I realized his striking resemblance to Spencer. He did a lot of
dangerous stuff as a young kid, got in with the wrong crowd, dropped out of
high school, was in and out with the law, etc. He rediscovered what Jesus
Christ could do in his life and is trying to turn things around right now. It’s
s a little like Spencer if he turned back to the church; it was weird, but cool
at the same time.
I got a package from my parents for Valentine’s Day. It had
some snacks in it. I loved how my dad sent a box of chocolate toast sprinkles,
which is the closest thing I have from my Dutch heritage. They’re good.
We got up at 5:15 am and biked at 5:45 am on Tuesday morning
to teach a 6 am seminary class. Our whole zone wants involved. Well, our whole
zone will be involved; we return for at 1:55 class as well. It was good; I’ve
found honest answers help a lot with youth.
We went through a morning schedule plus texting people and
reporting things before returning to the seminary at 1:00. By the way, I like
cooking, but I love cooking with a nice kitchen and a dishwasher.
The 5th WML in Union Park set up a “ministering night” with
the whole ward; 27 people split up to visit various ward members. It was a
strong kickoff. In our visit, the grandmother had a lot of old church books.
One of her daughters knew the author of a book on the origins of our current
hymns.
Wednesday was hard because it felt like both of us could not
put thought to action.
I guess the way to look at today is that it was a harder
day, not from the challenges in it (it wasn’t that sort of challenging) but
form how I wasn’t set out to do my best. But I didn’t give up on the day, and
still tried. That’s going to have to be nice enough, I guess. We managed to
teach a few new people this week; Adan, a grandchild split between his
grandparents and mother, and Shayna, a single mom looking for help in a though
time of her life.
Weekly planning was hard, as I felt like I didn’t know how best
to find (again; I’ve gone through this before). We’re trying to hold well to
our morning schedule
Sunday was the Midvale East stake conference. It focused on
temple worship and family history work. We also set goals for March.
Leaving the church for dinner, we were delayed by a young
woman with a lot of questions about some deeper doctrine (e.g., like if Adam
had to be married to help in making the Earth). Then, we had a long dinner with
one of our investigators because the conversation ran off into a political
discussion without a space for us to speak up. We feel we can’t work with him
in a productive way but can’t even explain that to him – he talks too much.
Week 86:
It snowed beginning Monday, February 19th. I guess that’s
the end of the 60˚ highs that we were having until spring. We aren’t biking
because of all the ice. We went on exchanges with Elder Beaman and Elder
Haight. I went with Elder Haight in our area; we had some long, snowy walks. Elder
Beaman and Elder Haight are from the Woodbridge stake in Virginia. They have a
lot of good chemistry, as do Elder Hardt and I.
Tuesday (Feb. 20) was our zone conference. It was on
following Christ’s example and our purpose. During the second part of the
conference, President Hillier felt like we hadn’t prepared for it by doing the
reading posted on Facebook a few weeks prior and so couldn’t get in to as deep
a spiritual experience as he hoped for us to have. It hit me hard: I was asked
to give a training on knowledge and only heard about the reading the Friday
before, so I had one personal study – one hour – to do both. I made only an
outline for the talk based on the reading, as I thought the discussion was
going to be different than it was.
Our mission’s boundary will be changing in July, and we will
be gaining some of the missionaries in the Salt Lake City Utah North mission.
This will happen right as I go home. Our mission is starting adapt to some of
the rules that the North mission has. One of them is changes in our emailing
and preparation day standards. The biggest things are no chatting on email
(emailing back and forth with people). Another is encouraging us to get out
into the community and doing different things, like seeing the local
attractions.
We had an unexpected lesson with one group we have tried to
track down after a different lesson fell through. The bishop and stake
president were going to visit ten minutes after we did, so when the sister
opened the door she was surprised to find us there instead of them. We stayed
and taught them all.
On Wednesday (Feb. 21), Elder Hardt woke up feeling sick. I
saw him taper off yesterday afternoon/evening. He slept most of the morning and
I was right there with him; I wasn’t sick, but I was tired enough to want to
rest more than do anything else, as my purpose couldn’t really drive me. I had
just told some other elders yesterday at zone conference that having a few days
to rest when your companion is sick doesn’t fix feeling tired a week later, but
I guess it still does something.
We went out at five and beyond. Our dinners haven’t been
working out – the WML told us this is a blue-collared ward and getting
appointments at 5:00 is hard. However, we had many things scheduled at 6:00
this week and were unable to swing it. This is the same WML who didn’t like
something with a meeting being a waste of time or something… anyhow, the
Ferguson’s (one set of the senior couples in the area we cover) had us over
before going to a coordination meeting with the other of their two WMLs that we
work with (we cover half their stake).
We had a Facebook chat with Adan, a new-ish investigator, as
the in-person lesson with him fell through. We re-committed him and his
grandmother to read the Book of Mormon and pray daily before our next lesson in
eight days.
Today (Feb. 22) was supposed to be our temple trip, but
Elder Hardt was sick. We didn’t go. I wasn’t able to fall asleep until sometime
around 2:00 AM, so it was probably for the best that I didn’t run on 3-4 hours
of sleep. It wasn’t because I was thinking about colleges; it was because I
slept in on our p-day. We got to make slings with one member in our area and
practice using them instead; I can see how David killed Goliath now.
I’ve found I don’t like contention. Before my mission (and
still now), I liked to argue and pick apart the other’s side point of view -- not
disabling them, but figuring out how they see things by asking lots of
questions. I wasn’t really arguing, at least for me. I could still see myself
going and doing debate club in college or something, but I’ve found I also
don’t like when two sides do not understand each other and don’t particularly
care to.
I also have a higher degree of empathy, but I don’t want to
talk about that, at least right now.
Really, I want to go and do missionary work. I am
uncomfortable with disruptions to doing missionary work, which explains many
things. But it’s a little more complex, which is why I don’t always talk to
everyone and moreover why I don’t always emotionally feel like that. But
looking at my values, I can see that missionary work itself
is pretty important.
I have to choose my college – Carnegie Mellon or BYU – by
April 1st. Tomorrow is the last temple trip between then and now. We may not
get to go to the temple if Elder Hardt is unwell. I’ve only started to consider
the pros and cons to each this week, so it wasn’t going to be a “please give me
an answer” deal.
With my scholarships making the net cost of each almost
equal, here are my current thoughts:
- BYU: Proximity to family, religious study, religious environment, large student body, and a larger dating pool
- Carnegie Mellon: Academic excellence, once-in-a-lifetime low cost, name recognition, small classes, and incredible career/employment opportunities
- Standards: Carnegie Mellon isn’t a church school, but it’s not party school either.
It’s not even my heart versus my head.
So while my college choice is not really worrying me, it’s
on my mind and I know I have to choose. Things don’t really worry me anymore
(besides when I’m in the moment, tired, or hungry). Usually, I’m generally
unaffected. I think it’s a sense of how everything will more or less be okay.
It’s partially from my testimony, but elsewise I think it’s in just the way I
am and faith in how things turn out. A lot of lows in my mission have taught me
that things will work out even when I feel like it’s the end of the world.
Another part is not having so many absolutes (it’s not a good vs evil choice)
and being okay with what results may come.
But still, I’ll have to choose.
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