Week 77 Journal
My companion and I
got together with another companionship for p-day activities. We did our
morning schedule – shopped, emailed, etc. Elder Heyward had arranged for
someone to do our laundry, and it went well. The member who took us
around had his car die, so we cleaned while we waited for someone to help us
start the car.
The zone activity was
"dunkball," basketball played on a small court with low hoops. It
was like if a real-life mode existed where people powered through the defense
often. The play stayed intense. If was fun.
We taught Martin the
baptismal interview questions; he is ready to be baptized on January sixth!
Elder Shafer and I
went on exchanges together. We hadn't been able to sync, so I had to fill
in some holes from Elder Heyward. In a way, it was like whitewashing
because we handed off the area without checking in with each other. It was
difficult to be flying blind.
The priest who was
going to take us out forgot and didn’t show up. This turned out to be a pattern
this week. We were unable to find a ride, so we walked and did as much as we
could. It was cold and slow. We got to very few people. Still,
it was better than if we didn't try.
Tuesday, December
19th, 2017:
During our exchanges
today we had interviews with the mission president. I talked to President
Hillier about what is probably my biggest challenge right now in missionary
work: developing better relationships with those with whom I come in
contact. He told me that I should try to develop relationships in a
healthy way with people and not get so down on myself when it comes to facing
my weaknesses. More on this later.
Exchanges helped me
identify what I want to work on as well. When I talk to people I’ve just
met, I tend to overthink things. It isn't like a normal conversation with
people I already know; it's not as natural. The other thing I thought to
work on is overcoming the apprehension of talking to people by aiming my efforts
at offering them salvation. The challenge is remembering why in the
moment.
We (Elder Heyward and
I) walked again tonight when another ride fell through. Not too many
people were home, but it wasn't very cold. Tonight felt without drive (no pun intended); we weren't acting
with urgency.
Wednesday, December
20th, 2017:
This morning, someone
taught us how to play better defense in basketball. It filled our morning
exercise time and then some. I now know how to defend so I'm not in the
way and risking injury when people drive to the basket. A yummy breakfast of
french toast using Great Harvest's cinnamon burst bread followed.
Our afternoon kind of
flopped. We kept doing productive things – we planned, texted, reported,
called, and so forth for a while – but we didn't leave the apartment. I
also talked with Elder Heyward about how I feel a need to improve more as a
missionary. I feel that some things have slipped—companionship study,
planning, finding – and I would rather they not. In the evening, we got replacement
bed slats, box springs, and mattresses from the new mission housing
coordinator, Elder Wilkins. Our previous slats were broken by some
missionaries a while ago.
It snowed a few
inches today, which didn't help us as we were walking. We were plenty
warm, though; we're both prepared.
Martin and his dad,
Charles, met with us today. His baptism seems certain. We met with
the WML and confirmed the building was reserved.
The Slades sent me a
care package! It was sugar cookies, homemade cheese, and a pork roast
from a pig that they had raised. My companion loves cheese, which is fortunate
because we got a lot.
Thursday, December
21st, 2017:
Elder Heyward was
sick today. Maybe he ate too much cheese. We stayed in the whole afternoon
while he slept. I finished reading the Book of Mormon again and wrote out some
things out that I've had floating in my head for a while. It touches the
Atonement of Jesus Christ and some of the spiritual things I've not divulged in
these journal entries. Maybe it will be part of my homecoming talk.
Re-reading the Book
of Mormon was awesome. It was so much more rewarding to read it having a
testimony of the book itself. I was able to see how my perspective shifted
over the 2.5 month period I was re-reading. As I read, I didn't necessarily
perceive direct answers to my questions, but because I have grown spiritually,
I was can look back and see that I’ve found answers to most of my questions.
On the related note,
I think I'm past depression. Or discouragement. Missionary work can still
be hard, but I haven't had a cry-on-the-floor moment or anything close for a quite
a while now.
We went out at dinner
time and for the evening. We visited Tristyn, who is doing well; some 15th
ward people, and a stake president. President Hillier wants our stake
presidents to meet with him and us (we’re the only Elders in the stake) so we
can discuss member-missionary work in their stakes. They need more ideas,
as the area in general is one of the slowest in the mission.
Tristyn continues to
be interesting and confusing as an investigator. Her mother has attended
church for six weeks in a row, whereas Tristyn hasn't. During the lesson
I missed from exchanges, Tirstyn said that she is close to being baptized and,
reportedly, was more serious than any other time with us. We don't really
know if she's progressing--she's regularly reading and praying--so she could
step forward any moment and start arranging a baptismal service, or she could
be a mile away. We're almost done helping her understand all the
principles we teach, so we'll stick with that and see how it plays out.
Elder Heyward's aunt
just dropped off a bag of presents and some homemade treats. He has extended
family close by, too.
Friday, December
22nd, 2017:
We started off with
weekly planning today. Elder Hewyard wasn't feeling well again this
morning but was ready to plan by 9:30. I read the old testament for two
hours, starting at 7:30. It's so thick.
The afternoon saw us
through the investigator portion of weekly planning. I need to approach
planning more mindfully, else I go far deeper than necessary.
Elder Shafer was
sick, so for our weekly district meeting Elder Martin trained using the missionary
broadcast training. It was a good review of how to work most effectively
with members.
We went out with
Russell for about the fifth time tonight. We visited unbaptized children
again, without finding a new investigator. What was interesting was how
we were able to share messages to people's needs many times--at dinner, at an
active family's house, and at a less-active family's house who had a daughter
on a mission. Many houses we visited were at various stages of
divorce. The gospel is centered on family life, so the dissolution of
both go hand-in-hand many times.
Saturday, December
23rd, 2017:
This Christmas season
has been full of gifts. Kindhearted members have been giving us presents,
waving more to us, and even pulling over to give us little things like
water. Yet we haven't seen many people open up to the gospel or receive a
golden referral.
At the same time,
Elder Heyward and I haven't been the best companions. We're both mature
enough to get along, but we don't have a lot of chemistry. So we talked
about it in a companionship inventory, because we had been at odds, but we
didn't argue or fight about it. Our discussion went all the way until
dinner. We didn't actually talk the whole afternoon; we did other things,
too, but continued our CI as we tried to sort things out.
I feel, very surely,
that there is something just beyond my reach or just around the corner that I
can reach to become an incredibly effective missionary. Sometimes I have
the feeling of absolute determination--knowing, as a feeling that it is
certain, that I am close to understanding the vision of missionary work as
governed by the doctrines behind it--and it is foiled or frustrated (neutral
connotation). That frustration is quenched by knowing I must be patient
with myself. Sometimes my frustration bubbles to the surface, especially
with other missionaries who don't act like they understand their purpose. I
need to find greater perspective, as failing to understand the missionary
purpose is something I'm not very tolerant of (even in myself). I don't
want that intolerance to control me.
We had an unusually
long dinner appointment, but we were doing the best we could. The mother
dropped a bowl of broccoli and it took some time for her to prepare something
else to replace it. It worked out well, as their son came by after we were
scheduled to leave. Elder Heyward got his contact information while I
talked to the mom and daughter, who told me that the son/brother need
motivation to go on a mission.
We ended the night by
going to a concert in the Canyon Rim 4th ward. There was a very musically
talented family; their Christmas card to everyone was a broadcast of an hour of
Christmas songs. After, we gave one of the attendees a blessing. Elder
Parnes and I had helped move may of her things a while ago.
I’m out of time, so I’ll
finish this journal next week. But here are some pictures of Elder Hayward and
me at our Christmas Eve dinner.
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