Week 28 Journal--reflections

January 9th, 2017:

We had quite the p-day!  We got up, did exercises (6:30-7:00), prepared for the day and studied until nine thirty, cleaned, went to emailing, had lunch and cleaned our car, went to an office store (I got a refill for the fancy pen from Brother Bywater), browsed Ross & TJ Maxx, stopped by the mission office for our car (where I sent out many letters), had dinner, attended a senior fireside by President Clayton, and finished with a correlation meeting.  It was a blur of activity; I'm still sick so now I'm exhausted.

I tried to make chicken noodle soup, but I guess I was using the wrong type of pasta as it turned into chicken-celery-carrot noodle-mush.  [Actually, I had added the noodles with everything else instead of at the last 15 minutes or so.  Whoops]

Being sick sucks.  Especially as a missionary.

January 10th, 2017:

We're in a trio today!  That took up most of our proselyting time.  Elder Leterneau is from Japan (or, he served in Japan for 7 months) and has problems in his knees.  He's only temporarily with us--due to some odd circumstances--and will probably be gone before this Monday.  Anyway, he's pretty experienced and I'm glad to have a new perspective in our companionship for a bit.

Sister Shang loved the dictionary [that my dad sent] so much that I let her use it.  We're not at the point where we can learn from it, so it was fine.

January 11th, 2017:

We learned more about Elder Laterneau today.  He's had a lot of stuff, one thing being his knees.

January 12th, 2017:

We talked, yesterday and today, about happiness as missionaries and depression.  Pretty interesting stuff, as I found I honestly haven't been happy as much lately.

Sorry I'm not writing much right now.

January 13th, 2017:

It's pretty fun being in a trio.  You have a third voice to sort things out.  Elder Leterneau is almost the same in terms of obedience to me, but a different enough personality that I've learned from him.

Our dinner appointment was with a family where the father reminded me of dad--his quick wit but with puns.  He was very clever, though, and I've been taking people too seriously on my mission so I was slow on the uptake.

Elder Leterneau is staying with us!  He will work in the office Tuesdays through Thursdays until dinner, at which point he will go out with us.

I really enjoyed the Slades' card.  It was the only thing I've received so far, so it works!  [The card is from a company called "Someecard" (it's a certain type of card) and read: "Just wanted to be the first one to wish you a happy birthday so I can feel superior to your fellow well-wishers."]

I haven't been sleeping well due to my lingering cough, even with meds.  Fortunately, I haven't been waking up the others.

January 14th, 2016:

We finished weekly planning today.  Elder Leterneau has some good advice.

I'm about to finish my first year as an adult.  When Elder Leterneau said that to me, I felt old (in a bad way :P).  I have to laugh about that, though.

January 15th, 2017:

I've been bumping shoulders against Elder Bach more lately.  It's just hard for him to involve us in the area.  ...to be honest, I've felt like I'm fighting against him, although fighting is much too strong a word to use.

I still have my cough, and it sucks!  At least the only thing it does is keep me up at night; it's hardly noticeable in the daytime.

A few days ago, we went to a place called Braza grill.  It was good.  So good, in fact, that I strongly recommend it for Spencer & Dad.  I can't remember if Jason is a meat lover.  Anyway, it's an all-you-can-eat steakhouse.  And it's good meat.  It's ~$17 a person, which is well worth it for special occasions.  It's a Brazilian place, and they love their meats.  I know from Elder Matsuzaki.  They also have grilled pineapple, which helps break down the meat (don't get the beef tenderloin--it's very chewy!).  The only reason we went there, by the way, is that missionaries eat free there.  It's the mission's best freebie, so no one wants to abuse--and thus loose--it.  I hadn't gone before.

Our mission has a Book of Mormon reading challenge!  We're trying to read the whole Book of Mormon by Easter.  I would like to challenge my family to do it with me, but especially Kirsten, Jason, and Spencer.  That deadline could be pretty crazy, so please read it by July 6th, 2017, the one-year-mark of my mission.  I don't want to push Mormonism on you, but I would like to you know what I've chosen to believe and understand a bit of why I chose to believe it.  I hope that's fair.  Spencer, please keep a journal with you along with a copy of the Book of Mormon while you embark on your hike!  It would mean a lot to me for you all to do it with me.  Thank you.

So, if you couldn't tell, I've been going through some personal challenges lately.  I'm trying to sort them out.  Here's some of it:

• I feel like I've been losing my personality.
• I feel like I've been emotionally detached.
• I feel like I haven't really been happy, at least as I look back on my mission.  I've been happy in the moment many times, but it's a different thing.

Don't panic, as I haven't sorted it out and those aren't like I'm-on-the-edge warnings or something.  I just really hope to sort it all out by the end of my mission.